You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
