Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is Oprah even human
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
