What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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