So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
