I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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