You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
