The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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