If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
