...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
