It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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