I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
