omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We had to coat check the pizza.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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