I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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