I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
