dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
