I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
