i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
