Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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