Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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