11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize