I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Holy shit dude........stairs
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