I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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