Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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