i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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