You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
