Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
