There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
me + whiskey = a bad person
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
