Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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