I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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