Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Operation Purity has been aborted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
