I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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