"it" just moved
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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