This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize