I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
