the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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