Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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