But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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