booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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