and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
