I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
