I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
