i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
