We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dignity is for republicans.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
