____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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