I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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