we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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