it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
