If that was your dad, he is hot
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
