3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Umm I'm too high to move.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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