i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
