i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She even gives head with a lisp.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We talked him into tasing himself.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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