wanna go halves on a baby?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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