Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize