Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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