So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
