Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize