she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
