Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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