It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
