butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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