Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
