he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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