she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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