You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
