i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
