hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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