i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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